To know or NOT to know???

I have been struggling with finding out the gender of out third baby. I usually can't wait and have to know but I will be 30 next month and not much surprises me anymore. When I say i can't wait I mean it too. I have to wait until the week before Christmas to buy Dan's gifts because I get so excited that I make him open them early if I buy them too soon. And I LOVE planning!

I love decorating the baby's room and organizing the closet with all their little clothes. I like to have our names picked out soon so we can speak the name over the child and declare the meaning over it's life! I love calling the baby by cute little nicknames while the are in my belly.

With all that said why am I wanting to be surprised all of a sudden? I mean why not? I have a girl and a boy already. Noah was born in may and Alayna was born in July and this baby will be born in June so i have all the clothes already. The baby will be in our room for awhile so we can paint and decorate after the baby is born since it will be sharing a room.

I am so on board for being surprised but Mr. Clean has to think about it. He doesn't like surprises and needs to know what going on at all times. I call him the original nosy pants! So I am praying that he will get on board with my great idea and not cave when we go to the ultrasound in January!

Just plain sick!

It's during the first trimester with all my kids that I question why. Why did we make a baby? Why did we want more kids? Why do I put myself through this time and time again? I get so sick that nothing stays down and the thought of food makes me vomit. Who in there right mind would want that?

I say it with every one of them...this is it and don't tell me you want more because I don't! But then Mr. Clean and I sneak into their rooms at night watch them sleep and think out loud...we would be ok if we had one more! Then they wake up and we are thinking out loud...NO MORE!!!! It's a good thing we didn't plan No No or this baby otherwise we would have just Laney! And I can't imagine life without my little guy so I guess this is a blessing even now why I am puking my guts out!

Baby Update

I had my first appointment yesterday and I walked in thinking I am 8 weeks 4 days but I am 7 weeks 6 days. The midwife told me I probably ovulated later in the month or had a double ovulation. WOW...that explains why I'm pregnant. She laughed and told me that's how her son was born.

We tried to do an ultrasound but the baby looks more like a glob than a peanut so we didn't get really good pictures. The heartbeat was strong at 167 and everything looks like I'm progressing well.

Some prayer requests: My weight gain needs to be about 10-15 pounds and I love to eat! Pray for total and complete healthy growth and development for the baby, also for my delivery...I know it's a ways off but I'm starting now. I would like not to be induced and I want an easy labor. I had 2 hard ones with my other two and I just want to have this one with ease...no complications!

Surprise!

I have said it before and I will say it again...we were done with two kids! Two was good for us. One for each of us to contain. Three means they outnumber us and that can be scary when you are out in public! Two...one girl, one boy...life was good and we had a routine down that worked well for us. But then God had to go and bless us with another bundle.

So now my perfect little routined life is interrupted. I want to be very honest with you... I struggled with this new news a lot! I loved being pregnant and giving birth with both my kids but a third baby scares me to my very core. I am not ready nor am I prepared to take on another life. I feel as though my life is complicated enough right now.

And talk about timing! Dan is laid off of work, we just finished the basement to give us a third bedroom only to be maxed again, and I am no spring chicken anymore. I know God is in control and I know He will provide. I'm not worried about that as much as I am my hormonal imbalance right now. I am a mess with my emotions and thoughts. I know it's only for a few more weeks and then I can start to normal out a little bit.

And you would think this would be good news for the family to hear??? But I have had some horrible responses! My heart breaks to hear some of their comments. I mean I don't have a disease...I am carrying a child, their grand-baby. I can only pray that this baby would never know the words they have said and the bad they have spoken over us! Because I don't live my life according to the world but solely to Christ! I know He will carry us through this hard time and I know He gave us this baby so He WILL take care of us!

I don't mean to sound negative myself...I am starting to get excited about having a another baby! It just took me some time to get used to the fact that our family of 4 will soon be 5.

Venting

Did you ever have one of those seasons where things just keep going down hill? You think to yourself...ok this it, I know it's going to get better. But it just doesn't. I am in that season. Things just keep getting worse my the day. I don't like to complain too much but I am at the point where enough is enough!

I will spare you the details for now but I am in need of prayer! I don't want to give up and I am desperately trying to believe for breakthrough but I can feel myself pressing in less because there is no change.

I don't want to lose faith or hope but I need a refill. After standing and believing for something for 3 years my heart has grown weary. I just need to be carried by Him.

I can't keep you in suspense any longer

Although it is not finished yet...here are some pictures to hold you over.

Basement step looking down

Furst thing you see when you get to the bottom of the steps

Love seat and awesome artwork by Jason Thompson!

Entertainment center without Mr. Clean's 55" Samsung LCD TV :-(

View from the entertainment center... Original artwork by Cousin Aaron (he is an artist)

Our bed frame without the mattress

Laney checkin herself out in the mirror

Funeral in Florida

Sunday, October 4, 2009 my Pappy, Leroy C. Parthemore took his last breath and went to be with Jesus. He truly is in Heaven right now rejoicing with the Lord. My selfish heart aches because I won't get to see him again here on Earth but I am so glad he is no longer suffering and in pain. He was 83 and lived an adventurous life. He made it through the depression, 2 wars and 7 kids! haha He does have 7 children, 11 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren.

We will dearly miss him and always remember him fondly! He had a smile that would brighten anyone's day and always hugged you! So in honor of this great man we all went to Florida for him and my Nanny!

Sunday night we booked our flight down and Tuesday morning we all left. It was a whirlwind of a trip but I will never forget it. Can you imagine us all down there? It was great seeing everyone and here are some pictures of the group!

Our newest family member

Mr. Clean has bugged me more over the past 2 months to get a dog than ever before with anything else. He never had a dog growing up so when we got married and bought our house we bought a puppy. His name was Theo and he was our baby. He was a pit bull mixed with a Jack Russell...I know funny and weird mix but he was cute. He was the perfect pet and we couldn't have been more happy with our decision to get him. After about three years of having him...he had a seizure and so we took him to the vet and put him on medication. The seizures were controlled for the longest time but then the medication stopped working and he began to have episodes of weirdness. His eyes would glaze over and he would become distant and mean and then it was liek something would click in his brain and he was normal again.

We had to put him down about a year ago because his episodes became so bad he went to attack my nephew but the screen door stopped him. It was so hard seeing him moments before and seeing how happy and normal he was. But we knew how bad these were getting and the damage he could do.

Needless to say I was not wanting to get another dog right away but my persistent husband eventually wore me down. So we bought a Miniature Bull Terrier from a Texas breeder. His name is Dozer and he fits perfectly into out little family!

More Progress!

So here are some pictures of our progress in the master bedroom and master bathroom...not finished but close!

Plumbing cut for the bathroom

shower in for the bathroom

ALMOST done bathroom

sink and mirror

right wall of master bedroom

crown and base on right wall of master

Left wall of master

Left side with crown and base and by cubbies cut out

Progress

I just wanted to post some progress we made in the basement. We are about 2 weeks out from moving down there! I have waited 3 years for this and I am sooooo excited. When it's done I will be posting before and afters and maybe even a little video. But until then...

lots of wood

This one is to give you an idea of how big a TV Mr. Clean is getting for his entertainment center

Primed and ready to go

Black and Beautiful

DOZER...the mini bull terrier

This little guy was on my screen when I logged on this morning...Do you think Mr. Clean is trying to hint what he wants for his birthday?

One bite at a time

As I was watching my son eat his chicken nuggets I witnessed a very strange eating habit take place. He had 5 chicken nuggets and all of them had one bite taken from each. He would pick up a nugget and take a bit then place it on the tray and grab another one. He did that with his french fries as well. I was going to take a picture but my camera battery is dead.

Please share with me any unusual eating habits that your child or children might have. I mean come on...I'm not the only mother who has weird kids....right?

Laney's Big Girl Room

So far we have spent:

Ikea white iron Full bed................. $80
paint & knobs for dresser............... $51
Chair...fabric came w/bedding....... $0
Chair paint.........................................$13
Room paint.........................................$48
Bed in a bag from Jc Penney........... $50
Full size matress & boxspring.........$0


Grand total so far.............................$ 242

Not bad for a $300 budget... we still have to buy curtains but I am sure I can find a good deal!

My new love

I paid $6 for both of these chairs and I spent about $20 on fabric and spray paint. So for $26 this is what you get.

Preschool Day 1

Laney LOVED preschool! She remembered she was going as soon as she woke up at 6:30am and then came into my room to wake me up so we could go. I had to explain to her that it didn't begin for a few more hours in my best early morning mommy tone. And believe me I had to muster up the nicest attitude I could for 6:30am.

So when I finally had to get up at 7:30, I rolled out of bed and we rushed to eat, get dressed and get loaded into "Ray Ray" so we could make there on time. We did!!!!! Congrats to me for not being late the first day of school. You can't see me but I'm patting my own back...HA!

She got to her cubby and hung up her lunch box and ran into her class room. She just left me there in the hallway. I made her come back out and give me a kiss! Then I go into Ray Ray and cried like a baby! I missed her. Don't get me wrong...I love the quiet time and freedom but I truly missed my daughter today!

The dark side of dark

Today I got to go with a friend to help rescue a friend from drugs. I am not naive when it comes to things like this and so I did realize that she wasn't going to walk away today. Not because she didn't want to but because of no open beds at detox facilities.

I was asked to go because my friend didn't want to go alone and I used to go to school with this girl plus I have some knowledge of it from family. I knew that it wasn't going to be a pretty site but nothing I have ever seen could compare to this. I was in shock from the moment we pulled up to the house.

The house was a row home that was "run down" to say the least. The door was wooden and so old you could see in at the bottom. We knocked and we heard a voice scream, "who is it?" My friends replied, "It's me." "Me who?" and then another voice screamed for the girl we were there to see.

When she opened the door I could barely recognize her. She is 29 but looked about 45 or 50. Her face was covered in scabs and she was dirty from head to foot. She later told she weighed 92 pounds but that was probably with clothes on. Her finger nails were black from dirt and she hasn't taken a shower in 3 months. When she talked I could see she had no teeth and her gums were black. So you can probably imagine the smell.

I was so focused on her that I didn't even realize we were now standing in a drug house with about 3 people. The house was so dirty and smelled so bad. There were holes in the wall that they had shoved paper or towel in so that you couldn't see outside. The floors were covered with trash and the couches were filthy. I saw that they didn't use the kitchen as a kitchen because my guess is every bit of money they had went to drugs. At one point I looked behind me and on the walls were pornographic pictures hung up as art in their living room. And then I saw the bed that was in the dining room and I started to pray and pray hard.

Just as I thought to myself...I need to get out of her...She said, "we need to take a walk." So we made small talk and then bam the hard truth of the situation was addressed bluntly but with love. She is a heroin addict and needs help because she would rather die than live another day like this. When you come to the decision that death would be better than the sickness, pain and disease that comes with living a life on drugs than you know you need help and you need it fast!

With that being said, there was no way she could have left with us today. Her body is so dependent on heroin that she would be sick almost to death to stop cold turkey. She needs a Methadone detox center to safely rid of body of all the junk she put into it. They were closed until Monday so she is stuck there until then. She is serious about getting clean but she will continue to use until Monday...not because she enjoys the high but because she feeds her body so that she doesn't get sick. That is what you call feeding the addiction.

The only advice I could give her was to try to stay alive until Monday. Even as we left I could feel that she was barely alive. Her body was a hollow shell waiting to die and her eyes were full of pain and torment. I know that if she doesn't go to detox on Monday it will only be a matter of weeks before she is dead.

I pray with every fiber in my being that she doesn't just make it to Monday but that she beats this addiction and changes her life around so that she can walk her destiny! Please pray for her salvation as well as her next few months. I am praying that after detox she makes the decision to go to New Life for Girls.

Coming home I was so filled with bitter sweet emotions. My heart hurt for her but I was rejoicing inside that God saved me and I don't live like that! I don't know what will happen next but I am believing for a transformation of her life!

Summer 09 Pictures

Worless Wednesday

Um...that's a comb she's using!