A little something for the fellas

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.


Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.


After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter! amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most ! of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


This DOES NOT pertain to all women, besides men run over the curbs. I actually pull up better than Mr. Clean does.

Check it out...

When you get a free moment please check out Stacy's Blog. She is the accountant at CCC and she started a blog today. Also I wanted to thank all of you who left me beautiful comments. I appreciate your feedback and all of your encouragement. In the words of Beth Moore... Thank you Siestas!

Feel Like Swimming?

I have been talking to a lot of people about how God is stretching them and taking them out of their comfort zones. I mean a lot of people... it seems like like at least 3-5 people a day lately me included.

Recently God has called me to the Ministry Team at my church and to tell you the truth I wasn't thrilled. I am just being honest here. I was going to do it but I was NOT excited about it at all. I wasn't looking forward to praying with people...WHAT did I just say??? If you can believe it, it is true. Don't get me wrong, I do like praying with people but this wasn't once in awhile, this is every week! What was running through my mind was, "Lord, what am I going to say?" God is so faithful even when we are being stubborn. This is how the Lord replied, "I will talk, you just open your mouth." I thought well I can't argue with that. So off I went to pray on Saturday night June 23, 2007. I wrote the date so that I can look back and remember it.

I know that God wants to use me and I step out most of the time He asks but why do I hesitate to move out of my C-zone when I know the next level is amazing, I see Him move more and I grow so much from it? I have been asking myself this question a lot over the last couple of months. I feel as though I need to know everything before I do it. Like I can't jump into the pool unless I know when it was cleaned last, how deep is the water and the temperature first. I want to get to the point where I can dive in without reserve, hesitation or questions. To know that God is with me, leading me and that there might be waves and ice cold water but the swim is worth the water in my face and the chill.

So, here's to the jump of faith I chose to make everyday and all the fun stuff that comes with it!

July 4th Giveaway

1. first contest, a Krups GVS1 Ice Cream Maker and a 4 piece set of Rosanna Sweet Dreams Bowls courtesy of SplendidLife.com. This is a super summer prize - make sure you click over and enter to win.
2. second contest is a Lands’ End gift card good for a custom swimsuit with a retail value of $120! Click over and leave a comment to be entered to win.
3. third contest is for a package of 50 customized Momager Calling Cards™ from Paperlicious. If you want to win this fun and fabulous set of Mommy Cards, click over and leave your comment.

Big Red

I would like to take some time to tell you about a girl named Big Red. Big Red grew up with siblings as most of you have, and she is one of the middle children since there are four kids in the family. So really she is the oldest of the middle children. I know growing up she didn't really have a sense of self worth because she didn't know how much God really loved her. She made some bad choices but decided one day that she needed more than this life had to offer her so she surrendered her life to her Lord and Savior and began a walk with Him that makes others envious, including me. Now it's not a bad envious but a jealous envious that makes you want to pursue God with everything inside you. I see the anointing of God all over her in such a way that she can't say no to Him anymore. She steps out and does what He asks when He asks her to. The blessings and provision of God rests upon Big Red and her family of 3 (maybe soon 4????) . I can't help but wonder what all God has in store for her and what huge territories she will win for the Lord all because she is faithful with whatever is given to her, small or large. I personally would have not begun to step out of my comfort zone and pursue God in a whole new way if it wasn't for her, so Big Red... Thank you for being a beautiful example of what God can do when you submit to Him and trust that He knows best! Thank you for being my sister and one of my very best friends. I love you!

Not so much...

So today the third person asked me when I was due and I replied, "Not so much!" I know I am nowhere near my pre-pregnancy body but come on do I look pregnant? I will give people the benefit of the doubt because Amanda Jodon is pregnant and us having the same first name might throw people off but someone who knows us both asked today.

So now I want to be the biggest loser and lose all this baby fat. Ok, so maybe it's not so much baby fat as it is just plain old fat. I need a plan that works for a working mother. I don't have time during the day so if anyone has any ideas on how to get skinny when you are so busy that sometimes you forget to wear underwear, I would like to know so please share. Don't laugh that has happened to me one too many times. Yes I am so embarrassed to share that and I don't even know why I did. Sorry if you are grossed out by this but I tend to forget a lot ever since I had Laney Bug.

Let me tell you what I have done that doesn't work for me. EXERCISE. No I'm kidding seriously does it look like I exercise? My only exercise consists of walking with Laney about 3 or 4 nights a week and that is not cutting it. I need something that sucks all the fat out of me quick...hmmmm that reminds me of a billboard I pass all the time that advertises for "Lunch Time Lippo" I wonder how I could justify spending money on Lippo to Mr. Clean???? I seriously don't think he'll go for it so I guess I'm stuck working out and eating healthy... the good old fashion way of losing weight.

Maybe I should start a workout night at church or something so I don't have to workout by myself because working out solo is no fun. Let me know if this interest anyone else and maybe I can find out more info and we can have a ladies work out night called "Thighs be gone" or "Love handles don't live her no more"

Almost Walking

My Laney Bug is almost walking...ALMOST. She has taken 4-5 steps but then she sits down and crawls. This has been going on for almost 2 months. I just want her to walk already. She stands up holding on to furniture, the dog, my leg or the toilet (not one of my best mommy moments). I keep trying to hold her hands and get her used to her land legs but we are not quite there yet. Mr. Clean(new name that I have been trying to think of since I started this blog) and I both walked by 9 1/2 months so we expected her to as well. Ha, she made us realized AGAIN that we cannot limit her to our thinking. Hopefully she will be walking by her first birthday in July.