There it is!

I am just so excited this morning! I love that Laney and Arkman will have a brother in about 4 months. I can't wait to see my two boys playing together and getting into trouble together! I am so excited to finally finish their room and start getting things set up for the newest Klingon!

I was just sitting here thinking about God's grace. I have a girl and a boy already and throughout this pregnancy I have stayed neutral on what gender I want. I didn't care either way...I just wanted a healthy baby! So finding out it's a boy made my mommy heart pitter patter! I have to say that finding out has really helped me connect with this baby and it's only been 24 hours!

And although we haven't decided on a name for this little guy yet, I have already begun to speak life over him! He has somehow managed to tug on my heart and it's just bursting with love to pour out on him! This is the feeling I have been missing for the last 5 months and I am soooooo glad I have it now!

These are the days that I cannot imagine doing anything else than being mommy right now! I love that God has allowed me stay at home with them and love on them all day long! Seeing my children playing together makes all the cares of this world fade away into a distant memory!

It's A.........

And a fun picture of my belly at 20 weeks!

bonding has yet to come

Thursday, January 28th is the day of our ultrasound. I was planning on not finding out and even convinced Mr.Clean to let it be a surprise. There is only one problem... I have yet to bond with this child. And although that might be common...I have not experienced that with either of my other children. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Laney, I fell in love with her. I prayed for her, sang to her and talked to her everyday. Same with Arkman. There was an instant connection with them.

I know I am not a bad mother but I feel bad at times when I tell people that I have not bonded with this child. It's so bad that I rarely talk to the baby or prayer for the baby. Mr. Clean does most of that. I seem to have no interest. And that is the worst feeling in the world for me. So while talking my hubby, he suggested that we find out so that I can start planning a nursery, we can pick a name and speak that name over the child. I was hesitant at first but now I am on board.

So in about a week we should know what this little peanut is! If you would like to guess than head over to the survey on the right side of my blog and enter in your guess. I will post after we know and tell our families!

To know or NOT to know???

I have been struggling with finding out the gender of out third baby. I usually can't wait and have to know but I will be 30 next month and not much surprises me anymore. When I say i can't wait I mean it too. I have to wait until the week before Christmas to buy Dan's gifts because I get so excited that I make him open them early if I buy them too soon. And I LOVE planning!

I love decorating the baby's room and organizing the closet with all their little clothes. I like to have our names picked out soon so we can speak the name over the child and declare the meaning over it's life! I love calling the baby by cute little nicknames while the are in my belly.

With all that said why am I wanting to be surprised all of a sudden? I mean why not? I have a girl and a boy already. Noah was born in may and Alayna was born in July and this baby will be born in June so i have all the clothes already. The baby will be in our room for awhile so we can paint and decorate after the baby is born since it will be sharing a room.

I am so on board for being surprised but Mr. Clean has to think about it. He doesn't like surprises and needs to know what going on at all times. I call him the original nosy pants! So I am praying that he will get on board with my great idea and not cave when we go to the ultrasound in January!

Just plain sick!

It's during the first trimester with all my kids that I question why. Why did we make a baby? Why did we want more kids? Why do I put myself through this time and time again? I get so sick that nothing stays down and the thought of food makes me vomit. Who in there right mind would want that?

I say it with every one of them...this is it and don't tell me you want more because I don't! But then Mr. Clean and I sneak into their rooms at night watch them sleep and think out loud...we would be ok if we had one more! Then they wake up and we are thinking out loud...NO MORE!!!! It's a good thing we didn't plan No No or this baby otherwise we would have just Laney! And I can't imagine life without my little guy so I guess this is a blessing even now why I am puking my guts out!

Baby Update

I had my first appointment yesterday and I walked in thinking I am 8 weeks 4 days but I am 7 weeks 6 days. The midwife told me I probably ovulated later in the month or had a double ovulation. WOW...that explains why I'm pregnant. She laughed and told me that's how her son was born.

We tried to do an ultrasound but the baby looks more like a glob than a peanut so we didn't get really good pictures. The heartbeat was strong at 167 and everything looks like I'm progressing well.

Some prayer requests: My weight gain needs to be about 10-15 pounds and I love to eat! Pray for total and complete healthy growth and development for the baby, also for my delivery...I know it's a ways off but I'm starting now. I would like not to be induced and I want an easy labor. I had 2 hard ones with my other two and I just want to have this one with ease...no complications!

Surprise!

I have said it before and I will say it again...we were done with two kids! Two was good for us. One for each of us to contain. Three means they outnumber us and that can be scary when you are out in public! Two...one girl, one boy...life was good and we had a routine down that worked well for us. But then God had to go and bless us with another bundle.

So now my perfect little routined life is interrupted. I want to be very honest with you... I struggled with this new news a lot! I loved being pregnant and giving birth with both my kids but a third baby scares me to my very core. I am not ready nor am I prepared to take on another life. I feel as though my life is complicated enough right now.

And talk about timing! Dan is laid off of work, we just finished the basement to give us a third bedroom only to be maxed again, and I am no spring chicken anymore. I know God is in control and I know He will provide. I'm not worried about that as much as I am my hormonal imbalance right now. I am a mess with my emotions and thoughts. I know it's only for a few more weeks and then I can start to normal out a little bit.

And you would think this would be good news for the family to hear??? But I have had some horrible responses! My heart breaks to hear some of their comments. I mean I don't have a disease...I am carrying a child, their grand-baby. I can only pray that this baby would never know the words they have said and the bad they have spoken over us! Because I don't live my life according to the world but solely to Christ! I know He will carry us through this hard time and I know He gave us this baby so He WILL take care of us!

I don't mean to sound negative myself...I am starting to get excited about having a another baby! It just took me some time to get used to the fact that our family of 4 will soon be 5.